Or worse, you might be in a long-term relationship and now you have your suspicions. In reality, men’s behavior is tough to decode. Yet, a man lets slip away some small details that make a difference. If he’s talking to someone else or seeing another girl then he’ll be detached from reality. He’ll act the same, he acted when he talked with you first. Now that his interest is shifted elsewhere, he’ll be annoyed even by your casual questions. Don’t stay there just wondering. To be more precise, don’t have a pity party by yourself. You can always do a check about him using SocialCatfish to see who’s talking to. Instead, check 11 obvious signs he is talking to someone else:
1. He doesn’t behave as usual
Behavioral changes are always a result of an outside factor. If your date or boyfriend has changed drastically lately, then there’s something going on. Suddenly, he picks up new hobbies, turns into a workaholic, likes different things, or has different dreams. Always, a man changes to impress. If he’s talking to someone else and likes her then he’ll change his taste in music, the way he wears: JUST TO ADJUST! He pulls away slowly from you. Mutual interests and goals will slowly vanish.
2. He doesn’t give you the same attention
Attention and compassion is a compound that makes dating or a relationship interesting. If there is a lack of these two elements then he’s interested in someone else. One of the signs that he’s talking with someone else is when he doesn’t pay attention to you. You talk and he doesn’t listen. He’s focused on his phone and always smiles or laughs when he gets a text. If you ask him what’s that about, he’ll hide his phone or even say: “Ugh, nothing. It’s nothing.”
3. You rarely hang out or have dates together
Now, either going on dates started to seem boring to him or he’s quite busy. A sign that he’s talking to someone else is not spending time with you as he used to. It’s quite understandable to have his own space or be busy. Yet, if he’s constantly finding excuses to not hang with you, this is a sign that there is someone else. Meaning, that he’s interested in getting someone else’s attention. He’s making this other person a priority for the moment. You can always do a check about him using SocialCatfish to see who’s talking to.
4. He’s being mysterious
His mysterious attitude will always bring up questions to you. He’s neither open nor vulnerable with you. His behavior leaves you so many gaps that you can’t fill. You try to connect the dots and make sense, but you can’t. If he’s talking to someone while he’s dating you, he:
Always asks you to hang out in places he chooses or are more “appropriate”;
Avoids hanging out during weekends;
Doesn’t want to be affectionate out in public;
If you are in a short-term or long-term relationship with him:
He asks you to give him a call before you head to his place;
He doesn’t want you to have access to his phone;
5. He gets zoned out while texting
He’s all focused on his texting game lately. You might catch him smiling, daydreaming, and laughing at those texts. Whenever you speak, he doesn’t answer or he’s always affirmative. Even if you’re having dinner or you went somewhere nice, he’ll be focused on those text messages. If you’re trying to keep him interested for some time then he has lost interest. He’s talking or even seeing someone else at that moment.
6. He mentions mistakenly something about her
This is one of the most fundamental signs he is talking to someone else. He mistakenly mentions a plan or something that talked about with her. When he notices that he didn’t discuss it with you, then his mimicry will change.
7. He has sudden plans
Once he was the one who made the plans, but now he has sudden other plans. He’ll have last-minute plans with the guys. Also, he will change his mind or something will come up at the last minute. In addition, he’ll not elaborate any further details about with whom he’ll hang out. It’s true that men avoid details and won’t share much, but being secretive is another thing. Do not take this sign as him trying to create scarcity. This is not a sign that he wants you to chase him.
8. He doesn’t text you first
A core sign that he’s talking to another girl is not initiating a conversation. You notice that he’s online or posts but he doesn’t text you first. If he lost interest after the first date, he’ll reply less and less. He’s engaged with others but doesn’t bother to check on you. At this time, he might be keeping his dating option open. He doesn’t want to cut all the ties with you but is still looking for other options.
9. You always meet according to his schedule
This is a quite confusing sign. Based on this sign you might not notice that there is someone else. Once you like or love him, you’ll agree to make sacrifices. If this becomes a common thing in your relationship then he’s controlling or is seeing someone else.
10. He’s sketchy about his phone
Creating a healthy relationship is being able to be open to one another. If your date, partner, or boyfriend hides his phone every time he gets a call, that’s a major red flag. This is a sign that he’s either talking to someone else or seeing someone. It’s important to talk about feelings and intentions. If he wants to keep his dating options open then you’ll keep yours open too. You can always do a check about him using SocialCatfish to see who’s talking to.
11. He doesn’t interact with you on social media
Nowadays, social media is a reflection of what we feel or do not feel about friends, family, or beloved ones. You’re not part of his social media even after dating him for several months. You wonder: Is he seeing someone else? The answer is affirmative. If you’re still not connected through social media he wants to be secretive about you. Also, doesn’t want you to know who he is interacting with. To have a better idea if he’s seeing someone else, here are 7 extra signs:
12. He didn’t ask to be exclusive, yet!
One of the signs that he’s someone else is not wanting to label your connection. If he’s not able to focus on you, make you a priority, and not keep his options open, there is someone else. In this case, if you want to date exclusively, you should let him know. This way, you’ll avoid misunderstanding and heartbreak.
13. He has a female friend whom you never met
For a man, a female ‘friend’ is always a way to escape the fault of seeing someone else. If she is a friend who is always with him but you haven’t met yet, then he is seeing her. He gives little details, yet is very mysterious about her. She’ll text, call, or even see him. He will always try to convince you that you shouldn’t worry about her.
14. He’s not interested to talk about the future with you
The future is not on his plate. A man might not talk about the future because he might be afraid of commitment. On the other hand, he’s seeing someone else and he doesn’t want to commit to either one, yet.
15. He stops being emotionally attracted to you
The moment he starts to see someone else, he’ll start to withdraw from you. He’s not interested anymore to know more about you. Now, he’s stuck in a new and fresh wave in his life. He’s not attentive and your conversations last way less than before.
16. There’s a negative stream in your sex life
It’s not odd to have ups and downs in your sex life. When he’s seeing someone else, you might feel a deep detachment from him. He might not be as passionate as before or might imply that you’re not good at it. The worst of it is when he avoids being close to you and doesn’t give any reason.
17. He isn’t interested to meet your friends/family
Every time you ask to meet his friends or vice versa, he’ll avoid the topic. It’s pretty normal to not meet his friends at the beginning. If you’ve been dating for a while and you’re not part of his life then he might be seeing someone else. He doesn’t want you to be part of his past and know more about him. If friends or family know about someone else then things will get messy.
18. He’s very erratic
In this case, he radiates inconsistency. One day he’s all over you but suddenly he has to cancel plans. He says something else and does something else. Most of the days, he’s part of your daily routine but suddenly he vanishes. He’s head over heels for you, then suddenly asks you to change your behavior or appearance. Once, there is someone else he’ll be very confused and send to you mixed signals/feelings. You can always do a check about him using SocialCatfish to see who’s talking to.
What to do if you think your partner is talking/seeing someone else?
The most important thing to do is to not rush to any conclusion. Do not let your feelings and suspicion lead you on. Try not to be jealous or possessive if you haven’t talked about being exclusive.
- Be observant but don’t stalk him. Look at his behavior if it’s changing constantly. If you have to put effort every day to get his attention then be a little more observant in this aspect. Be patient and don’t accuse him because of paranoia. This might happen if you’ve gone through betrayal before. Still, if he’s seeing someone else you’ll feel it in your gut.
- Don’t have the conversation out of panic. Communicating your doubts and needs with a partner is very important. Keep the conversation about the present. Ask him what he likes and what not about you and your relationship. Check what could be done differently and what might push him into seeing someone else. If you are just dating then, what we recommend is to talk about exclusivity first.
- Have open dating options too. If you’re just dating and aren’t exclusive yet, then keep your dating options open. I’m not implying to jump and sleep with other guys, but give them a chance to talk. This way you’ll have your life balanced until you’re exclusive.
- Choose wisely with whom you share your concern. You need to share your concern with someone and get their opinion too. In this case, you should search for a relationship counselor who can help you with their objective advice. You might share it with your friends or family, but their opinion might not be objective. They might try to help you but their opinion about your partner might complicate the situation. It might get harder to reconcile the relationship.
- How do I ask him if he’s seeing someone else? You might ask him without panicking or being angry. Don’t ask him if you haven’t talked about being exclusive earlier on. You should be prepared that he might not give a straightforward answer. He might also be mad. When you ask, you need to state the reason that you’re asking. You want to know where he stands in this relationship. You might be concerned about STDs, or if you want to know whether you’re progressing or not.
- At what point do you expect a guy to not date others? A guy will keep dating others until you have the exclusive talk and he’s sure you’re the one. It’s not up to you to ask him to not date other people. You should show him your intentions and boundaries after you’ve been having a good time. You should have this talk after a month. After a month, a guy knows whether he wants to be exclusive or not.
To conclude: Sings there is someone else
You’ll know that he’s talking or seeing someone else if he slowly starts to detach from you. There will be a negative and complex stream in your relationship. He’ll be inconsistent and search for ways to keep the balance between his mystery and you. Don’t be based only on signs to know if he’s seeing someone else. Try to have a simple talk with him. Be strong, don’t be anyone’s second choice. Best, Callisto
