You don’t know the motives of this sudden text and it gently, yet seemingly cruelly, reminds you of the heartbreak you experienced. There’s contemplating whether responding to them is the right thing to do, and there’s the thought of what you experienced. What do they want?! When an ex texts you out of the blue there is something that they want from you and how that affects you is important. So no need to panic, dear reader. We got you here! Here are 13 reasons your ex texted you out of the blue:
1. Your ex is concerned about your well-being
You ended your relationship on a good note, and your ex texted you out of nowhere to see how you are doing. There is no ulterior motive, they genuinely care for you. You had a good relationship and they don’t feel like it’s rude to text you out of the blue. They are genuinely curious to know how your life is going and are excited to know that everything is going according to your plans. Something or someone reminded them of you, and now they want to see if everything’s okay with you in your life.
2. Your ex wants validation from you
After your break up, they went around and dated and slept around with other people but couldn’t find that excitement they were after. Thus, they texted you out of the blue to see if you were available for them since they didn’t feel appreciated by others as they did by you. Starting a relationship takes a lot of investment. So when they texted you out of nowhere, they thought they’d keep you around to validate their ego and needs. When your ex texted you, they were just testing the waters to see if they still have a chance to get you back temporarily until they find someone else. Some things they might have said are,
I never felt more loved by anyone else; There is no one better for me than you;
These are self-centered comments that don’t indicate their longing for your values and presence, but rather for what they gained from you.
3. They’re trying to pursue you, again
When breaking up, the first few months are always the hardest, thus, your ex texted you out of the blue because they just can’t face the hollowness they feel. An ex texted you out of nowhere to see if you are still hung up on them, thus, trying to solidify their presence in your life. Because they don’t want to go through the journey of forming a new relationship, they will start the chase by texting you out of nowhere. And when you text your ex back, they’ll take the green light to resume pursuing you and you give them another chance to redeem themselves.
4. Your ex-partner wants to check if you’d reply
When an ex texts you out of nowhere they just want to see whether you’ll respond, and when you do, they’ll disappear. By doing so, your ex is trying to keep you in their game and wants to have access to you anytime they want. Your ex-partner wants to keep you in their disposition for them for as long as possible. Texting you out of nowhere will enable your ex to pull you into their game and keep you in the loop for as long as you let yourself be used.
5. You have made yourself available to interact
When you both broke up, you might have unintentionally given them the impression that they can text you anytime. Your gentle and open approach might indirectly encourage your ex to text you out of nowhere hence they take the chance and do exactly that. A gentle and open approach can be considered
Liking their posts; Texting them now and then; Posting things on social media that were related to your relationship with your ex; etc.
That can be an invitation for your ex to text you. Thus, your behavior towards them might have been the factor that made your ex text you out of nowhere.
6. Your ex isn’t ready to let you move on
When an ex texts you out of nowhere, they might not want to let you move on. And it is often because they, themselves, haven’t been able to grasp the fact that you’re not in their life anymore. So, to be informed what is going on in your life, your ex will text out of nowhere, right when you are ready to move on from them. You might be getting territorial and jealous texts from them. All this because they aren’t ready to see you with another person. Your ex isn’t ready to accept the fact that you might have moved on from them romantically and successfully got your life back together. Resulting in your ex texting you out of nowhere just to try and keep you from progressing with your life.
7. They miss the physical intimacy with you
An ex texts out of the blue because they might be looking to spend a good time with you without having to worry about relationship constraints. There is no emotional reason for your ex to text you out of nowhere other than the physical satisfaction that they might be missing when they were with you. So your ex is trying to reconnect, to see if you’d like to keep things casual without committing to each other. Before you decide to text your ex back, consider your relationship and if it is worth going back to it. Consult with your values and morals and don’t let yourself be swayed by emotions.
8. Your ex wants to remain friends
When a relationship was healthy and ended without drama, the ex-partners may want to still be friends, and that’s okay. You might have a special place in your ex-partner’s heart, just like they do in yours, and a text from them can be friendly and clean from mal intentions. Text from your ex might not be suggestive and simply show you care and interest as they would show to their friends. So when your ex texted out of the blue, their main intention might have been fostering your friendship as you are a valuable person to them.
9. They have nothing to do
Sometimes, a text from your ex comes out of nowhere because they are bored and are left with too much free time on their hands. Thus, they might have just thought of you and texted to see if you’d reply to keep them busy for a few hours. When they text you and you reply, their ego will get a boost and think that they still have an important place in your life. Blinded by such delusions, they might suggest hanging out again, and start flirting with you to see if you will fall into their web again.
10. They’re looking for emotional comfort
It takes hard work to create a safe environment in which your partner doesn’t feel the need to pretend. And when you break up, the feeling of that familiarity, comfort, and safety is what you miss the most. So when your ex’s life gets hard, they will seek you out because you were the last source of emotional comfort they had. They might not want to go through the difficult journey to build this trust with someone else, thus, they find themself with an easier solution, coming back to you.
11. Your ex might be trying to get a sneak peek into your life
Curiosity is what pushed your ex to text you out of the blue. They just want to know what is going on in your life. All they’re interested in are the progress you have made since you broke up and if you have moved on from them. An out-of-the-blue text from your ex comes because they need to reassure themselves that they made the right decision. Thus, every time they need validation, your ex will text out of nowhere.
12. Your ex regrets taking you for granted
After your break up, they noticed how much of a positive impact you’ve had on their life and how blind they were to that impact. A text from your ex out of the blue might be to let you know how much they appreciate what you’ve done for them and to apologize for taking you for granted. There will be no attempts of trying to win you back, but only acknowledgment of their misbehavior when they were with you. Your ex might have texted you to let you know that they value you much more now and see all of the efforts you put into your relationship.
13. They genuinely miss you
There is no hidden motive behind your ex’s out-of-the-blue text, they just genuinely miss your company and wanted to reach out. It isn’t the comforting feeling that they miss but rather, they miss you as a person, your traits, personality, virtues, energy, and quirks. Those are different from craving the safety a person offers and missing that person as a whole. This is them genuinely missing you. They might ask you to meet up and just catch up while also proposing to keep in contact without pressuring you. So it is up to you to decide what to do.
Does my ex want me back since they texted me out of the blue?
When your ex texts you out of the blue, one of the reasons they did is because they might want you back. However, this might not always be the case. Every relationship is special and not one couple ends their love in the same way. You should refrain from jumping to conclusions without even talking to your ex. How would you know their intentions if you didn’t text the back?! Thus if you are curious as to why your ex texted you, you can reply, but you should be ready to feel the consequences of your actions. You should have a strong mentality and practice empathy when the situation calls. And what would you do if they wanted you back? Would you take your ex again or you wouldn’t change your mind about your decision at all? You can always reach out to expert help when in doubt! You should clear any doubts you might have in yourself and consider if you can relive the same heartbreak if things don’t go well. Just because your ex texted you out of nowhere, it doesn’t mean that you have to accept their advances, you can reject them and continue your life. You are mature enough to understand your feelings and decide upon your morals if they are worth getting back to.
Your relationship isn’t a movie: Let’s have a pragmatic view on this!
All of us want to experience love. It is the greatest feeling of all, but we mustn’t forget ourselves and our well-being in the process. Life is longer than a 2-hour film. So don’t fantasize about your ex wanting you back just because they texted you. Try to see the situation as it is instead of as you want it to be. This is not a romantic movie, this is your life and a decision that might change the course of it. Believe in yourself, and trust your instincts. Make yourself clear, and be straightforward. You’ve got this! Love, Callisto
